This breaks my heart. I came to my little café today inspired about the idea of writing about sex. Sex is such a motivator in the lives of humans. It is a very basic life function. It is also a very volatile one. I don't think I will write much about it today because I don't know much about the questions that I have.
I want to write a book titled, Love One Woman. I want to encourage men from the moment that they read the first paragraph that it is honorable and in the heart of God for a man to chose to love one woman for the rest of his life. God is not honored by testing the waters and seeing how the waters feel to determine if we will chose or not. This is dishonorable. God is not ok with the approach that we promote as a culture, even in Christian culture. The desire to promote this idea of lovecomes from my belief that God desires us to be whole, complete, and happy individuals. The only way to be this is to pursue His heart in our approach to the other. I believe that with a real understanding of God's design and heart for relationships will strengthen the culture of relationships ultimately strengthening the experience of individuals in relationships.
As it is now it is a system that is terribly hurtful. Men and women are encouraged to test the waters and see what kind of person we are looking for. We are free to engage the heart and mind of another and then make our judgment of them with respect to our futures based on what they shared with us. If we don't like it at least 96% then we should move on even if we chose to experience their bodies and the commitment that is implied in the social (heart) contract of doing so. There is no honor for commitment to our actions and what they really mean. We are free to redefine what we meant when...we said things like "I love you", when we took off our clothes and shared some of the most intimate moments humans can experience, when we told others that we thought we found the one. We are free to experience any experience we want to in the moment then redefine it in whatever way we want that allows us to disregard the other.
I don't want to live in a way that I would not want my children to experience. Would I want my child to have a lover get access to all the deep important parts of their being and then just leave them by the side of the road bleeding, like the traveller in the Good Samaritan story, because someone didn't like some things about them. This is why I want to write a book. The book is not only about love between a man and a woman and that it is possible with great desire and effort to cultivate that love, but is also a remedy to a problem that we currently have. The church and culture suggest that we should live "exceptional" lives that are full of all the cool things that life has to offer if we "believe big". We push this idea of exceptional greatness for those who have the courage to live for it and wait for "God's best". In this process you are supposed get a degree and become financially stable by settling into a career. These things are supposed to support the idea of having success in relationship, but by the time most people are 25-30 they have had to experience the pain and anxiety of loneliness and have mitigated it with pre-marital sex and various "romantic" relationships destroying their hearts. We have broken the meaning of life an marriage and ruined it by the time we get the courage (aka...disenfranchised, lowered standards and a newfound willingness) to chose a mate. We then spend much of our time as a church trying to teach people how to "get over" things stating that God makes all things new, yet we never deal with the real problem, lack of knowledge concerning God's ways and desires for us in relationship and how to view our life not as something that God wants us to find, but rather how we can chose to lose it for His sake. We lose our lives by pursuing love. Jesus stated that He came not to disregard the law but to fulfill it. The Torah was a Law of Love. The only problem was that the sacrifice for us not being able to pursue love was the blood of bulls and goats which did not have the power to cleanse the conscience from sin. Only the Blood of Jesus was able to do that. Only the Blood of Jesus can set us free from the burden of our conscience concerning breaking God's laws with respect to each other.
We need to seek the heart of God in our relationships and more importantly in our ideas about what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior within them. It is inappropriate to think you have a choice to make concerning another's value if you chosen to partake in that value. A righteous man fulfills his promises even to his own hurt.
I care about this because I have been involved in this on every level and I want my children and yours to live in a different climate with an understanding of honoring and cherishing the gift of God in another. We must be seeking treasure and be committed to finding it in God's heart to bring to our lovers. If we seek to bring treasure to those we invite into our lives we will always have something we can trust in...the ability to bring the presence of God through our vessels to the other. This is the only way we can be sure that the presence and blessing of God will be in our relationships. We must be the source of love, forgiveness, hope, joy and humility.
No comments:
Post a Comment